A year in the life of a 42 year old.....I wrote this post in January on my 43rd birthday but never posted it. My last published post was over a year ago. In the last year I have had 3 different positions a Child Development Counsellor (9yrs), EIA case coordinator (7 months) and now an Autism Early Intervention Specialist (6 months). My baby started school and my oldest started getting girls contact information written on his arm....We said goodbye to Meadow; and hello to a naughty dog named Charlie. We have watched my mom's awareness of this world decline and celebrated the first Christmas dinner without her. God only gives us one day at a time and some days I feel beyond overwhelmed and honestly alone, other days I focus on what is good what is real, what is true....
Here is my January post and a few updates added in.....
I sometimes wonder how life became so different than I planned....or how I thought it would be. 42 was a little bit of a bumpy road, I think that might be why i stopped writing. Some life event are out of my control and I have not figured out how to process all of them....
Some highlights from year 42 as a mama of 2 boys:
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| My baby joined his first team sport |
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| Brodie tried out for the school play and was a pirate |
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| We met sponge bob and patrick |
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| we went to valley fair |
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| family summer vacation = yummy food |
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| A friend taught me how to make jam...i'm grateful since i never asked my mom to show me. Something about this made me so happy. |
I left my position as a Child Development Counsellor after 9 years, there was food, friends, and gifts
but no cake
I was truly blessed to work with an amazing team for so long, and it's what I miss the most. It is easy to take for-granted how lucky you are to work with friends. Learning a new program has been a huge challenge but emotionally it has kicked my ass. I will never take team work for granted again. I will never dismiss the impact of stress. Taking the position in EIA lead me to the Autism position, I was not looking at posting, I was loosing my mind and someone who knew some of what was going on send me the posting.
A even harder obstacle as been processing my moms decline, she moved into a nursing home the week before Easter 2014. We were told it was better not to take her out right away so there was no Easter dinner. We celebrated her birthday April 25 at the nursing home which was odd and uncomfortable. I have come to accept that Korben will never have a relationship with her. This has hurt Brodie deeply because he has so many memories of my mom. I told him that I agree it is very sad but at least he doesn't feel the loss. When we visit its stressful and Korben gets scared, Brodie is usually in tears when we leave. No one is forced to go but its a battled internally you want to see her but each time her condition is worse. Three days before Christmas she stopped swallowing solids, and the nurse suggested not taking her out for Christmas dinner.
I'm not sure if there is a easier way of coping with dementia
We visited the zoo with Grandpa Peter, this was a first for just the 4
of us to hang out
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| I got reading glasses and a phone with a bigger screen....I must be aging |
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| There was football, friendship and mud |
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| MVP 2014 |
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| 1st day of Grade 5 |
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| 1st day of kindergarten |
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| We celebrated a 5th birthday |
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| We explored life (poor Brodie learned about it in detail this year) |
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We sadly experienced death.
Life keeps going with the good and the bad. We celebrate, we cry, we keep going.
kristen heather
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