Thankful For:

They say its your birthday......

A year in the life of a 42 year old.....I wrote this post in January on my 43rd birthday but never posted it. My last published post was over a year ago. In the last year I have had 3 different positions a Child Development Counsellor (9yrs), EIA case coordinator (7 months) and now an Autism Early Intervention Specialist (6 months). My baby started school and my oldest started getting girls contact information written on his arm....We said goodbye to Meadow; and hello to a naughty dog named Charlie. We have watched my mom's awareness of this world decline and celebrated the first Christmas dinner without her. God only gives us one day at a time and some days I feel beyond overwhelmed and honestly alone, other days I focus on what is good what is real, what is true....

Here is my January post and a few updates added in..... 

I sometimes wonder how life became so different than I planned....or how I thought it would be. 42 was a little bit of a bumpy road, I think that might be why i stopped writing. Some life event are out of my control and I have not figured out how to process all of them....

Some highlights from year 42 as a mama of 2 boys:

My baby joined his first team sport

Brodie tried out for the school play and was a pirate

We met sponge bob and patrick

we went to valley fair

family summer vacation = yummy food

A friend taught me how to make jam...i'm grateful since i never asked my mom to show me. Something about this made me so happy.

 I left my position as a Child Development Counsellor after 9 years, there was food, friends, and gifts
but no cake

 I was truly blessed to work with an amazing team for so long, and it's what I miss the most. It is easy to take for-granted how lucky you are to work with friends.  Learning a new program has been a huge challenge but emotionally it has kicked my ass. I will never take team work for granted again. I will never dismiss the impact of stress. Taking the position in EIA lead me to the Autism position, I was not looking at posting, I was loosing my mind and someone who knew some of what was going on send me the posting. 

A even harder obstacle as been processing my moms decline, she moved into a nursing home the week before Easter 2014. We were told it was better not to take her out right away so there was no Easter dinner. We celebrated her birthday April 25 at the  nursing home which was odd and uncomfortable. I have come to accept that Korben will never have a relationship with her. This has hurt Brodie deeply because  he has so many memories of my mom. I told him that I agree it is very sad but at least he doesn't feel the loss. When we visit its stressful and Korben gets scared, Brodie is usually in tears when we leave. No one is forced to go but its a battled internally you want  to see her but each time her condition is worse. Three days before Christmas she stopped swallowing solids, and the nurse suggested not taking her out for Christmas dinner.
I'm not sure if there is a easier way of coping with dementia

We visited the zoo with Grandpa Peter, this was a first for just the 4
of us to hang out

I got reading glasses and a phone with a bigger screen....I must be aging 

There was football, friendship and mud

MVP 2014

1st day of Grade 5

1st day of kindergarten

We celebrated a 5th birthday

We explored life (poor Brodie learned about it in detail this year)

We sadly experienced death. 

Life keeps going with the good and the bad. We celebrate, we cry, we keep going.

kristen heather

Maybe......

Maybe you have experienced something that hurts so much that it puts a dark cloud over all that is good and joyful in your life. 

Maybe you wake in the morning and you have a moment when reality has not yet clicked in and you feel normal, and then it hits you like a mac truck. 

Maybe you mourn, maybe you get angry, maybe you cried some more. 

Maybe you pray, maybe you let someone else in to carry the burden just for awhile. 

Maybe it's you

Maybe it's someone you love

Maybe it's cancer

Maybe it's an addiction

Maybe it's old age

Maybe it's heartbreak 

Maybe it's an opinion

Maybe it true

Maybe it's not





Maybe you will never get over it, maybe you will....

Maybe what comes from it is part of God's plan

Maybe you find a way to feel useful in the situation

Maybe you gather information, make an action plan and feel more in control of the situation.
Maybe you begin to move forward, seeing a different path for your journey. 

Maybe you make sense of it,

Maybe you become stronger from it

Maybe you find strength in a person who needs you as much as you need them

Maybe you will believe me when I say:

You are smart 

You are strong

You are beautiful

And Korben would add:You are powerful 

You are never alone

                                  kristen heather xo

 (Drafted Feb 2014, now seemed like a perfect time to post)

Happy 10th birthday Brodie James

Ten Years! 10 years! TEN YEARS OLD......how can this be? 

Brodie has had an amazing year take a look:

Someday this boy is going to melt hearts

Brodie the great explorer.

He asked me today if he will be successful when he grows up....
I told he will be what he wants to be with hard work 

2013 Halloween

Someday soon being silly in public might be harder to do

Read our Christmas letter to learn more about this one

Grade 3 completed. We are very proud of his accomplishments

I believe parents are the practice run to how we form our future relationships.
 The dynamics between father and son are so different than mama & son.
I love watching them together.

(Just a side note Brodie wore these pants today and they are too short)

First Concert Great Big Sea March 17/13

Being a big brother might be good practice for becoming a father/uncle or maybe a dog trainer someday.
I laugh so hard listening to the two of them...

Brodie is 10, he is amazing in so many different ways. He is caring, and thoughtful. He asks more questions than there are answers. He notices things that other kids his age miss.
He loves family celebrations.
He has started guitar lessons, he does archery with Dad. He loves to play video games, shooting a bb gun. He loves his quality time with mama, and accepts the rare occasion I'm not here at bedtime.
Girls have been invited to his birthday for the last 2 years. He loves learning about God, science, history. (He watches the history channel or sponge bob before school).

 He likes to know the plan for any given day. He still loves lizards, frogs and snakes. He calls himself a country boy and never wants to move away from his friends.

He is my amazing gift that I am so thankful for. 

I will love you forever and for always Brodie, you make me so proud!

Happy Birthday 

                                   
                                                           
                                                          kristen heather
                                                                         

                                               xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo

She is back!

Our Elf Stacy returned the 1st week of December and we have been enjoying every minute, take a look:

          No laying around on the job, it is time to start having fun

The weather outside is frightful but Brodie's new hat is delightful. 

With the help of the staff at shelmerdins Brodie picked out, paid and had a gift wrapped for his Mama.... Hands off Stacy! 

( I can't wait to open it)!

Candy cane cookies and milk, yum!

After school The milk was gone and most of the cookies.

Christmas airplanes and new friends = one happy elf

Stacy gave a little magic to the Bombers, 

Go team S we are not sure if that is for Stacy or Santa, but we do like the mittens and mohawks.

Are those wedding bells we hear Stacy.... Glad to see the couple was buckeled in because this baby drives fast.

Too much excitement last night, but really sleeping in the bathroom? !  A certain  family member was glad she was in a basket so he could move her into the hall when a little privacy was needed.

My newest Lia Sophia customer! She liked it so much she signed up to sell! 

Chocolate Chocolate yum

 This one was hard to capture on my phone....you know how you can walk into a room and your not really sure what you have missed.... We are not sure why Harry Potter and friends tied her up, but it did open up a whole new conversation about what else goes on while we sleep and since when do Lego move around on its own.....good question. 

Sweaters must be new to this elf.... We removed the hanger she left in before putting it on. Oh Stacy!

             kristen heather